Dear Edward
by Kizzy Bloom
Summary: One night, Edward finds a note from Bella on his couch. I wonder what  it says?
1. Edward's Note

A random spoof of _Twilight/New Moon_. Because the books kick ass. Because Edward Cullen is just that sexy. And because I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the next in the series, _Eclipse_.

Disclaimer- No, I don't own anything having to do with this series, other then this spoof.

**...Twilght...**

**Edward Cullen, eternally age 17, stepped out of the bathroom, in naught but a terrycloth towel. The small enclosure was steaming from Edward's shower. With water dripping from his brown hair, onto his beautiful face and his pale, slightly muscular body, the Vampire boy swiftly walked down the hallway to his bedroom.**

**With one hand tightly holding onto his towel, he cautiously opened the door to his room. After making sure all was serene, Edward silently slipped in and flipped on his light. After putting on a pair of black boxers and a pair of faded jeans over that, he walked over to his couch and went to lay down. As Edward sat, he noticed a white slip of paper with his name on it. Picking it up, he noticed the scent that was all over it.**

**"Bella," he said slowly to himself. Bella Swan was Edward's human girlfriend. After rescuing him from the Volturi in Italy, a few months previous, Bella automatically stated that she wished to be a Vampire, and that she wished to become one by Edward's hand... er teeth. Edward had downright refused, and Bella was still a bit sore at him...**

**Slowly, Edward opened the note, which was folded over twice. After reading the note a few times, he laughed a bit. **

**Edward looked to the black clock the was on the table next to his couch. The small digital time-teller said it was about 10:00. "Time to go..." the Vampire muttered. He stood up, went to his dresser and put on a black slightly tight shirt. As he walked out the door of his bedroom, Edward left the note from Bella on his dresser-**

_Dear Edward,_

_Bite me._

_Love, Bella_

**...NewMoon...**

**So, how'd ya like it? I was struck by inspiration while re-reading the book New Moon.**

**Please reveiw reveiws make me happy**

**P.S.!- **_Eclipse_** will be out August 7, 2007!!!!!!!!!!**


	2. Bella's Note

Just because I love my reveiwers, I'm putting in another chapter.

Disclaimer- I still don't own Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse (copywrite wise...) I own them, with the exception of Eclipse, bookwise.

_**...Twilight...**_

**Isabella Swan, age 18, was soundly sleeping in her soft blue bed. Her dark brown hair was splayed all around her as she dreamt about her Vampire boyfriend. Bella smiled as she turned on her side, her light red tank top slightly rising up her lightly tanned torso. With the blankets curling themselves around her, Bella soflt whispered Edward Cullen's name into the darkness. **

**On the other side of the room, Edward Cullen softly opened the window and quietly climbed into the confines of Bella's room. He laughed slightly as he heard her mutter his name sweetly in her sleep. Deciding to allow his human girlfriend to sleep soundly, without his presence, Edward moved silently to the brunette. Kissing softly on her light pink lips, Edward remembered the note he had found on his couch just a little while earlier. The note ****Bella**** had left him. **

**The Vampire left Bella and moved to her desk. Finding a blue ball-point pen and a a white slip of paper, Edward quickly left her a note in return...**

_**...New Moon...**_

**At 8:47 A.M., Saturday morning, Bella woke up to find herself lying with her legs falling off the bed, and her torso swathed in a solid navy blue comforter. After fully waking up, Bella took her shower and slowly got dressed. The human female donned a light green t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and and black sweatshirt that belonged to Edward. Bella walked over to her desk to find her keys to her beat-up truck that her father Charlie had gotten for her when she moved to the Forks. **

**Bella saw her name written on she note, in Edward's soft, elegant handwriting, Bella quickly opened the note which had been folded twice. The soft smile that had graced her lips just moments before left as suddenly as it had come. "Dammit Edward!"**

**She glared at the paper, egging it on to burst into flames. Seeing that the paper would not comply, she soundly chucked it in the waste basket next to her desk. Bella swiftly ran from her room and in her truck, made a beeline for Edward's house.**

_**Dear Bella,**_

_**I'm a vegetarian.**_

_**Love, Edward.**_

_**...Eclipse...**_

The way I see it, technically, because to most Vampires humans are 'meat' to them, Edward and his family are vegetarians because they drink animal blood, not human. It also seemed to be a good way to tell Bella no... does that make sense??


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